A (somewhat) Happy/ unhappy love story......Online love-at-first-sight....!

....Part 2....contd from Aug 4 post....

If someone said that 'Time stood still', I honestly did not know the meaning of the phrase, until that moment. The moment I saw Mr A's picture. For that matter, I didn't even believe in 'Love at first sight' either. I thought it was ridiculous. Boy, was I so wrong!!!!. Because on that pleasantly warm day of Feb' 2004, it happened to me and I didn't even know it.

Back to the scene where we left off. A few minutes had flown by. I was 'sort of' in a different zone I guess, before I could hear my mom's lingering call to dinner. By now, she was really annoyed that I was late. My mom has always had strict rules about dinner time and daily family rosary & prayers, which we follow till this day. I guess, old habits die hard. Anyway, I quickly bookmarked the page, turned off the screen and ran downstairs. Usually, where I'm chatty at dinner, that evening, I was uber-quiet. My mom was quick to notice the change. I hadn't realized I was smiling to myself, till I heard the question 'Why are you smiling?'. I looked up to see my mother talking to me, with this questionable 'arched-eyebrow' look on her face. An expression she usually has, when she thinks I'm up to 'something'. I brushed it off saying 'Nothing'. She gave it a few minutes and kept looking at me. She didn't believe me, of course. So, she asked again. I could NOT honestly contain the 'butterflies in my stomach' that I was feeling. So I spoke my mind. I had to. Picked up the courage, and told her about this 'mysterious guy'.

Surprisingly, she listened, and then she said "I want to see his picture". I couldn't contain my inner-excitement. I quickly finished dinner, washed up and went back onto the computer to the page to show her. The computer was not entirely shut down, so it was easier to pull the page back up quickly. She came up, saw the picture and to my surprise, her first reaction was ...'Hmm, he looks good'. Woah!! Talk about the sun rising from the west side for a change. My mom ACTUALLY approved of someone I liked??? Really?? Her next line was what blew me out of the water. "Why don't you get in touch with him, message him??". I said, "What?? Seriously?" She nodded & smiled. "Yes. Nothing wrong with that". I mean I would've done so, regardless of what she thought of the guy. But doing it with her approval seemed....ummm... so weirdly rebellious and yet, so right, all at the same time. I honestly was intrigued by her reaction. But I guess she was just as curious about this guy, given her protective nature towards her kids. I had to remind her that we would have to pay for a 3-month service, at the least, to even initiate contact. "Then let's do it', she said. I leapt out a quiet 'Yayyyy' in my heart, while hitting the 'Register' option. Payment on these sites, back then, especially in India, was another story altogether. So even though I registered, it would be another 2-3 days before my profile was 'active, AND before I could send Mr. A an email. I could hardly wait.

By this time, the thought of showing a 'fake groom' picture to my buddies at college was out the window. It was the last thing I could think of. Rather, it didn't even cross my mind. I had a more pressing matter to deal with, after all. All night, I thought of Mr A. So many questions. "What was he like? How does he sound?. Is he a romantic or a practical guy? When was his birthday?" I was extremely intrigued. Curious. I just HAD to know who he was. The butterflies hadn't stopped. It ramped up, rather, in the pit of my belly that day and over the next few days. This mysterious guy, was all I thought about - the next morning when I woke up, while I drove to college, all through my classes...while hanging out with friends. My mind was suddenly taken over by this 'stranger' I had not even met, all while I was functioning on autopilot.

In the meantime, I was keeping tabs on the online agent's progress. After some unwarranted 'drama' and my immense annoyance with the agent, my profile was activated. It was during my mid-morning class. Then, I sat down during my lunch hour, in college, to send my first long introductory email to Mr A. By this time, my 'curious' college buddies started noticing the subtle change in me, and realized that something was definitely "up". They saw me heading to the computer lab every hour to check emails. Because until that week, I could care less to step into the lab.

Anyway, as I was writing that first email, I didn't pour my heart out that instant. I knew I had to maneuver this carefully. So I kept the tone casual, while my insides were churning from within. I wrote about myself, my family, where I was, what I was doing, college, yadi-yadi-yada...basically, the factual details of my life and family. I wasn't short of words. The email kept getting longer. Interestingly, at this point, a pragmatic person might think about alternatives. "What if he's found someone else. What's the guarantee he'll respond." Surprisingly, none of the negative alternatives crossed my mind, even for a second. Somehow, I didn't doubt that Mr A wouldn't respond. I don't know why. I could feel it in my gut that this was 'it'. I never thought about the innumerable alternate possibilities, the universe could potentially play against me in this matter. That's how sure I was.

It would be the next day before I got a response to my email. And, BOY, was I beyond-thrilled. He had written, just as long an email as I did. And he was honest in saying, that my long email was what caught his attention. Let me remind you, that I hadn't even uploaded a picture of myself or my family on the website. So Mr A didn't even know what I looked like. And yet, he responded. I was ecstatic when I read his email. At first glance, he seemed open, honest, genuine. We had common interests, like / dislikes. It was bliss at that moment.

We exchanged emails religiously, every day, over the next week. Mr A was based in Dubai, working as a sales/ IT guy. Engineering Graduate. 29 yrs of age (5 yrs older to me...Perfect). Pretty decent family. Parents and a sister, who was married. He was the older sibling. To me, he checked off all the boxes on a ‘potential groom’ wish-list. Keeping my feelings aside, atleast from my point of view, that’s what I thought. While his immediate family were based in India, he had some great friends and extended family in Dubai. And Dubai was my home-turf. Since my dad was still in Dubai back then, I always knew I had a way of getting there, hook or crook, just to meet him. It was only a matter of time. Over time, we would find out that we had some common family friends as well.

Anyway, after a week of back-and-forth emails, it was starting to set in that I was talking to a stranger that I had NEVER met, or physically spoken to. But at the same time, I was in a 'limbo' of figuring out my comfort level to take it to the 'next level'...i.e. talking over the phone. In those days, 2nd base, was 'talking on the phone' or 'meeting in person'. At least to me, it was.

I guess, the one thing that kept me cautious of this whole situation, that first week, was the giant 'elephant-in-the-room' question that my mother had put forth. Is he Catholic?

Well.....Mr A was NOT a Catholic, but was of the Orthodox Christian faith. This was to be the first of many reasons for my mother's disapproval of Mr A. Sounds orthodox, right? It was. She stood her ground on this matter till the end. I didn't quite understand 'Why' back then. I guess somewhere in her heart, my mother was nervous of her only daughter marrying into a section of the Christian faith that I, nor my family were unfamiliar with. Eventually, my mom's persistent disapproval was to be the 'thin end of the wedge' that drew ‘the line’ between us. It was to be the beginning to 'our end'. Initially, my mom's disapproval, without even talking to Mr A, did not surprise me. Neither did it flinch nor stop me from talking to Mr A. I expected this 'kind of drama' to unveil anyway, especially when it came to ME choosing my life partner. So, why turn back now? I thought. Naaaa, of course not. BECAUSE when you are 24 and on the onset of being in love for the Very First Time in your life, this issue was far from being 'an issue'. I'm sure some of you must be thinking so. In fact, to me this was NOT an issue at all. What transpired the following weeks, was the cause for my 'reasoning'.

The following Sunday, I was online, casually browsing through emails, articles, chatting with friends, etc. Suddenly, a new chat message window popped up on my screen. Mr. A.

I remember my heart pounding in my chest for the next few seconds.

'Hi :)', he said. I said, "Hello'.

I recall feeling the butterflies again.

We spent the next few minutes, exchanging the usual pleasantries. How are you? What are you doing online, now?Blah, blah blah.

Not sure how, but we spent the next 2 hours chatting via messenger, easing into topic after topic just that easily. Talking via chat, came easy for both of us. We talked about anything and everything under the sun. Our thoughts matched, our perspectives were similar on life, family, friends. Could this be for real?? Could 2 people just 'click and fit' like 2 pieces to a puzzle??? Even our love for 'chocolate and desserts' was shockingly the same. Today, I easily skip over 'chocolate' desserts.

At the end of the 2nd hour, Mr A, who was at work, had to head home, since the office at Dubai Internet City was closing. So we decided to end our chatting then, deciding to resume the next day. However, at this point, a very crucial question caught us both. How do we let each other know 'when to come online', the next day?, Mr A asked.

For someone who was weary about sharing her cell phone number with a 'some-what' stranger just yet, and that too, with a week of mere email exchanges under our belt, I was honestly split-up on what to do. I told Mr A that I wasn't sure about sharing my number. The fear of internet atrocities was, sort of, clouding my mind. And still, I wanted to talk to him. Mr A, however, was ABSOLUTELY sure what he wanted to do. He heard, listened, sensed my hesitation and waited for a few minutes. To ease me in, he coyly posed a practical question.

"Janet, if you're at college and can't access a computer and I'm at work, how do we let each other know what time we'll be available to talk, except through email? If we don't have our numbers, we'll have to come online eventually just to check in, right? Do you think that'll practically work?"

Mr A had a point. I smiled. I knew what he was doing. He was 'pursuing me' now. But the fact that he did it so well, was what floored me. Now that I look back, I realized that his Sensitivity and Assertiveness both played well there. Two imperative qualities that holds the highest place in my mind, for a guy to have. I think it's easy for women to develop these qualities. But when a man has these two prime qualities, he's worth getting to know. To me, a man like that, knows well to respect anyone and everyone, AND himself, all at the same time. And Mr A clearly respected me & my feelings. And yet, was clear about the most pragmatic approach to take. And I think THAT question made me 'fall for Mr A', then and there. We exchanged numbers, instantly. And he gave me my first missed call and text message right then. Hi. It's Mr. A

And that was the beginning of my first, real & 'only' love relationship, and that too, an online one.

................Part 3....more to come.....